


Right Now and Five Thousand Miles Away

by Leidolette



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Kink Meme, Sex Work, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-02
Updated: 2012-08-02
Packaged: 2017-11-11 05:52:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/475222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leidolette/pseuds/Leidolette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are Jade Harley and you have just gotten some bad news.</p>
<p>You are broke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Latitude

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is also at the kinkmeme, in response to this prompt:
> 
> Post sburb, and Jade(18 or older) can't leave her island for whatever reason, but has been starting to run into some financial problems. But making money can be difficult when you're away from civilization.
> 
> So she starts working as a Cam Girl/has a website with a for pay section, just to make ends meet for a bit... and turns out to be really good at it. And successful!
> 
> But she's pretty nervous about what her friends will think if they ever find out...
> 
>  
> 
> Bonus: One of her friends has already found her website and has very... conflicted feelings about it. (And by conflicted I mean "Oh god this is my childhood friend" vs "Oh god, this is really hot")  
> Mega ultra bonus: Bro helps Jade get set up. And he's actually really helpful and protective because he's in the sex industry, too.

You are Jade Harley and you have just gotten some bad news.

You are broke.

Nothing like this has ever happened to you before. Money has never really been something that you've had to think about. You can't even remember the last time you've held a physical bill in your hand. Grandpa was one smart cookie about everything but locking up his guns; you have been kept clothed, fed, and connected to the internet all thanks to your Grandpa's foresight. All of this has been running relatively smoothly for close to twenty years, despite his untimely death.

Unfortunately, even he couldn't plan for everything.

One of your Grandpa's many investments has just erupted into a major scandal involving embezzling, fraud, and money laundering. The stock is in absolute free fall. And even worse, the criminal responsible used your account as a smokescreen. You know you didn't do anything wrong, but to the lay person it sure looks like you were involved in some shady stuff. A lot of people are very angry. Until the full extent of the damage is uncovered the government has decided to freeze most of your assets.

Your lawyer on the mainland assures you that everything will be sorted out soon. Eight months at the most.

Eight months.

You find that you are a nineteen-year-old orphan with no money, no experience, and no employment opportunities within a hundred miles.

You try to take an optimistic view of the situation. It's not as bad as it could be. It’s not like anyone’s going to repossess your island or anything. Thanks to your extensive greenhouse upstairs you're not going to starve to death. Hell, you could probably live on the ancient canned beans in the back of your cupboards and the stuff that grows wild around the island for a good chunk of time. It would be uncomfortable and bland, but you could do it.

However, there are things that you do need from the outside. Things that would be extremely uncomfortable, or even dangerous, to live without. Toothpaste, medicine, batteries, water purification tablets - not to mention every damn thing in your house with moving pieces needs replacement parts on hand for when things inevitably break down. The list goes on and on and you are just now realizing how much you depend on those little packages from the sky.

Even your internet connection costs a bundle. And there's absolutely no way you can go eight months without the internet.

Time to get serious about this and figure out just how badly you are hurting. You open your lunchtop and make a list of your monthly expenses versus your meager liquid assets. Your frown deepens with every new line you add.

There's a lot of red.

You lean back on your elbows and stare at your wiggling toes as you think.

Ugh, if only you could just sell one of the many chunks of uranium you got stored away, but that would probably just get you into deeper trouble.

You're going to need some more money to make ends meet. There is no escaping that. If you could just go out and get a job the gap you need to cover would be doable.

Your two most marketable skills are your affinity for gadgets and your knack for understanding nuclear physics. Too bad both of those mean fuck-all when you don't have any documented experience or accreditation. Geez, why can't people just trust you with their nuclear reactors?

You guess your income source has to be something that you can do over the internet. But what can you do? You're not a very talented artist, or writer, or coder. You can't even auction off some of your Grandpa's gross mounted animals due to the unpredictable nature of shipping to and from your island. What else is there? You don't even know anybody that makes their living from the inter-

Wait.

Yes you do.

\-------------------

You've been chatting with Dave for almost twenty minutes before you finally bring up the reason for your pestering

GG: i have a favor to ask!  
GG: is your brother home?   
TG: yes  
TG: why?   
GG: i want to talk to him  
TG: seriously?  
TG: weve been friends for like seven years now and youve never once asked to talk to bro  
GG: but i would like to now!  
GG: :D  
TG: so this is it  
TG: i knew this day would come  
GG: what??   
TG: you are throwing me over for my brother  
TG: decided you want to be best bros with a middle aged man i get it i understand  
TG: before i leave your life forever in a storm of tears and sorrowful piano music i have to ask  
TG is it his shades?  
TG: are they cooler than mine?   
GG: just put him on you ass!!! <3! 

TurntechGodhead abruptly goes grey in your chumroll. After a moment of bobbing your head to the music in your head, someone with the chumhandle timaeusTestified pesters you. You can guess who that is.

TT: Hey.   
GG: hello daves bro!  
GG: um i mean 

You realize that you have no idea what this man's name is. Ugh, Way to make a good first impression!

TT: Just Bro is fine.  
TT: So, what did you want to talk about?   
GG: well......  
GG: promise you wont tell dave?   
TT: Yes.   
GG: i need to make some money  
TT: Okay. Are you alright? Do you need help?   
GG: no! it's nothing like that  
GG: i just need to make ends meet for a while  
GG: and i was thinking.......  
GG: maybe i could be a camgirl?   
TT: A camgirl.   
GG: yes. i was thinking over my options and i think this might be a good solution!  
GG: but i don't really know how to get started or what i should charge or how to keep people interested or anything like that  
GG: i, um, thought maybe you could give me some advice since you have your own sexy website and support yourself  
TT: Well, my first piece of advice is: are you sure you want to get into this?  
TT: I hate to sound like an after school special, but once you put up that first video, bam! Some random guy in Sioux Falls or whatever will have it downloaded and backed up on six different hard drives.  
TT: These things have a way of popping back up when you join the workforce. Normal jobs look down on this type of thing. 

You think of your lack of schooling, your isolation, your interest in extremely advanced robotics and physics.

GG: i don't think I am ever going to have a normal job!   
TT: Alright. And I know you are worried about Dave and your other friends finding out about this, and I gotta say, it's a possibility. Kids your age are insatiable porn vacuums and it's not unheard of to be discovered by a friend during one of their endless erotic quests. 

You pause with your fingers above the keyboard. You are not too keen on the idea of Rose or John or Dave finding out about this. It would make you a little uncomfortable knowing they were watching, but even worse, you think it might make one of them really _really_ uncomfortable. You have been isolated for many years, and there are times when human society seems like a faraway dream, but you are aware that what you are planning to do is generally looked down upon. You don't feel guilty about taking off your clothes for strangers, but the idea that your friends might find you... shameful is pretty awful.

However.

GG: i guess ill just have to risk it!   
TT: Okay. Well, other than that I'd say that you're actually in a pretty good position for this line of work. You're young and independent, don't have to worry about discovery by a boss or parent, and I think you're pretty safe from the internet crazies out there in the middle of the Pacific.  
TT: As for the technical stuff, here's a link to a good camgirl site. The take-home pay percentage is pretty high for the girls and they are serious about your privacy. If you get enough of a following then you can break away and set up your own page and keep all of the revenue. I can help you with that later, if you want.   
GG: thanks!!!!   
TT: You know, if you incorporated some kind of puppet act I could put a link up on my site. You might get some decent traffic from that.   
GG: uh  
TT: Ah fuck it, I'll do it anyways.  
TT: And don't forget about lighting, that's a common amateur mistake. Good lighting will make or break a video.   
GG: I won't forget. And thank you so much!   
TT: No problem. Good luck, kiddo.   
GG: (:

\------------------

Bro turns out to be an amazing fount of knowledge, and over the next couple of days he sends you a flurry of additional emails that give you detailed reviews of the different camgirl sites, electronic payment setups, and a bunch of miscellaneous advice that ends up sparing you a lot of headaches.

You manage to whip up your own homemade camera pretty quickly using one of his schematics - it turns out he's something of a tinkerer as well. You’ve got a lot of spare parts lying around, and in comparison to a lot of the stuff you've built it's pretty easy.

You make sure to follow Bro's advice and assemble a serviceable lighting rig and light meter which you hope to do the job. Your room is pretty messy so you clean it up, along with anyplace else in the house that you think you might film in.

The only thing left to do is get started.

\------------------

You are Dave Strider and you are getting suspicious.

You know that Jade and your Bro are talking, but you have no idea about what. Sure, you have your Bro's computer password, but that won't get you into his private email or pesterchum account or anything like that. You can't figure out the situation at all.

And it's driving you crazy.

One sweltering afternoon, you finally just flat out ask Bro about his conversations with Jade after you've exhausted every other option (short of asking Jade herself). You save this option for last for two reasons: it's embarrassing that this is even getting to you, and you doubt that you'll get a straight answer anyways because a dozen levels of obfuscating verbiage is the standard of communication in the Strider household.

Sure enough, when you actually swallow your pride enough to ask him he nimbly dodges every word like they are half-deflated rubber balls thrown by chubby nerds in gym class. Doesn't even give you a hint in the form of an over extended metaphor. The most you can get out him is that you should leave Jade alone about it. What horseshit.

It's not until months later that you actually get clued in.

By this point you'd basically resigned yourself to never figuring out this particular mystery. You're fucking around on your bro's computer for a completely different reason when you stumble upon a bookmarked puppet porn forum (yes, those exist) that is having a heated discussion about your bro's site.

Amazing. You honestly have got to know what could possibly stir up controversy amongst puppet porn aficionados. What is it - marionettes vs. hand puppets? Who's hotter, Miss Piggy or Elmo?

You're disappointed when you open the thread. Apparently it's just an argument about whether Bro's site is becoming too mainstream. Yeah, you're sure that Bro's latest video of a smuppet being drawn and quartered in a disturbingly sexual way is definitely going to become the next Debbie Does Dallas. Anyways, you're about to exit out when a certain string of words catches your eye.

Apparently one of the points being put forward as evidence of mainstream conformity is a camgirl link in the 'affiliates' section of Plush Rump. One commentator even complains that the girl won't even do anything puppet related, she's just some "nerdy little girl on a jungle island".

For no particular reason, this interests you. You click the link.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

It's Jade.

Stretched out on her bed in a bikini top and an impressive pair of daisy dukes; she's rubbing lotion up her strong legs and letting her wild dark hair fall over her shoulders and stray across her chest. When she squirts a line of lotion out across her thighs you jump a little in your seat.

You cannot believe you're seeing this.

There's a group chat window at the bottom of the screen, but you barely notice it at first. You lose a good chunk of minutes just sitting there with your jaw slowly falling open like a chump watching the muscles in Jade's long legs as she stretches them across her blanket. Finally, the incessant dinging of the chat brings you out of your stupor.

**dudedudedude:** hey wuts that on ur leg?

Jade glances at her leg and looks confused for a moment, then she runs her hand over a finger-length scar right below her knee.

"Hmm? Oh, this. Remember when I said I used to fall asleep alot? Well, one time I was carrying a glass vase and I just conked out all of the sudden! When I woke up there was broken glass everywhere and I was bleeding from my leg pretty bad."

Jade traces the meandering line of her scar. You ghost your fingers over the same spot on your own knee; she'd never told you about that.

"It looks kind of funny because I was not very good at patching myself up yet. My stitching was so bad! Anyways, it happened a long time ago, and I am much better at it now. Check this one out!"

She folds one of her arms back behind her head and shows off a much smaller, much straighter scar in the vicinity of her elbow. You try not to notice the way her breasts move with the change of position.

"See, this one is much newer and it's already starting to blend in. Pretty good job, if I do say so myself!" She gives a wide smile to the camera that shows off her buckteeth and scrunches up her eyes. It is heart-meltingly adorable and you are not immune to this saccharine display.

**dudedudedude:** you stitched up urself thats fucking hardcore

**oboe24:** got any scars on your tits???? cause i can check them out for you

She wiggles a finger at the camera. "Come on, you know the answer to that. Nothing exciting 'til you buy some minutes."

**oboe24:** don't be such a bitch.

You get pissed and close the window with a too-hard click of your mouse which probably shaved a week or two off its product life. You stew in your chair for a moment, looking at your cluttered desktop; though you really can't say who you are angry at: oboe24, Bro, or yourself.


	2. Longitude

**== > Be Jade**

You've been at this job a couple of months now and it's not so bad! In fact, you even enjoy some of it. Don't get you wrong, it's still a job, but you can easily see yourself doing this until your accounts are cleared, no problem.

You're making decent money too. You're a bit of an oddity in the camgirl world, due to your strange house and your picturesque location, and this uniqueness has really paid off in the form of unflagging traffic. In fact, you've got enough dedicated viewers that you've moved to your own independent website and are able to keep all of your earnings.

You're lucky enough that you get to have complete control over all of your performances. You refuse to do anything that weirds you out too much. Anything that sounds painful or degrading is out the window too. Fortunately, you're pretty open minded when it comes to requests.

Some of the stranger things you've done since turning on the camera: making out with your dreambot, programming your wardrobifier to cycle through a variety of fetish outfits, playing the bass naked, and squealing like a pig and fertilizing your plants (also naked). You've played sexy charades with your chat group and gotten yourself off on the slopes of the volcano that rises above your island.

It's all pretty exciting! And going better than you'd hoped. You have had none of the problems that you were worried about when you first started, and the cash flow is easily keeping you afloat. In fact, not a single thing has gone wrong yet!

You are Jade Harley and right now your number one hobby is tempting fate.

\--------

**== > Be Dave**

You check back into Jade's cam feed every couple of days. You are completely aware that you've climbed to a new rung on your perv echeladder (Congratulations! You've reached the level of Peeping Time!) but that doesn't stop you. You rationalize to yourself that it really isn't that bad; you're not venturing into the for-pay parts of her site, meaning that you're not going to see anything too scandalous. It's almost like you're just keeping an eye on her (oh yeah what a gentleman it's not like you got half hard yesterday just watching her bull's-eye a row of targets in only her bra and underwear).

This routine goes on for a couple of weeks, until the reality of what you are doing slaps you in the face.

It's a Friday, and you throw your backpack over into the corner where it will stay forever (or until you decide that you actually really do need to do that lab report) and you plop down in front of your computer. You try to rinse off the residue of the super shitty day that you just had by fucking around on the internet. There's no one logged onto Pesterchum worth talking to right now so you message John about a page and a half of hyperbole centering around the heavenly sandwich you ate yesterday even though his status is idle. He never responds and you get bored and start flicking through your favorite sites, looking for something else to do.

Almost subconsciously you find yourself clicking over to Jade's website and loading the feed. It doesn't occur to you that maybe you're getting a little too used to this.

The stream loads and you're staring at the most beautiful beach you've ever seen. Like something straight out of an oil painting or an afternoon bikini weight-loss commercial. The angle of the camera shifts slightly, and there's Jade splayed out on a towel and looking sleepy and content in the sun.

She is just too damn lovely.

You can already feel yourself start to relax as you watch her. She's lazily answering the messages that pop up on the chat display beneath the feed, but you ignore most of it. Most of what those guys have to say is stupid and gross, and you just want to unwind.

"Happy Birthday!" Jade says, looking into the camera.

Wait, what? You glance down to the chat section and there's your explanation:

 **dudedudedude:** yeah it's bin going good so far

 **dudedudedude:** me and the boys are going out to celebrate later at this new place in the city they got a fucking pool bar fucking sweet

 **dudedudedude:** wish I could invite u along lol bet ur a good swimmer

"That is pretty sweet of you DDD!" she smiles all crinky-eyed and you actually do believe that she is charmed by the asinine birthday plans of some perv half a world away, "You know what? You've been a really loyal client these last couple of months. I've seen you a lot in the for-pay section and you're always super nice. How about a birthday present?"

Jade sits up and gives the camera a saucy, over-exaggerated wink (probably learned that one from Rose, you think distantly) and starts to fiddle with the bikini tie at her back. You go completely still.

"How about we go swimming right now?"

Take your hand off the mouse. Press the escape key until you're staring at your cluttered desktop. Go into the living room and eat Cheez-Its and play Mad Snacks Yo IV: Guzzle the Flavor until you have the goddamn decency to treat your friend like she's a real person that deserves not to be spied on by one of the three people that she trusts most.

But of course you don't do any of these things. Instead you watch as the bathing suit top slides off her chest and down her arms.

It's not anything you haven't seen before. Naked women haven't been a mystery to you since you first laid hands on a computer keyboard as a fucking preschooler. _It's just a body, who gives a limp shit_ , you tell yourself and the line sounds suitably jaded and badass inside your head. _But, oh my god, it's not just a body it's Jade's body you're seeing Jade's body right now it's Jade who has taken off her top and is now pulling her bathing suit bottoms off of her hips and letting them fall to the sand below holy fuck._

It's at this point that your brain starts going in circles and your dick perks up. 

You check her out. How could you not? There she is, wearing nothing but her glasses on a beach with the endless ocean stretching out behind her. Your eyes leave the familiar sight of her face and down to extremely un-fucking-familiar sight of her naked breasts and hips and crotch. Your eyes flick back and forth between her body and her smile, and you are having a hard time reconciling the fact that same girl who sent you a squiddles card when you were twelve (with all of the i's dotted with little hearts) is the very same one that you want to lay out in the sand with your body over her's.

 **leisuresuitjerry:** whoa

 **dudedudedude:** fuck yea!

For once, you and your fellow creeps are in perfect agreement.

Jade does a little twirl for the audience (during which you catch the briefest glimpse of her ass and you already miss it), then she picks her computer up off the ground, looks right into the camera and says "Race you!" in a voice that is half bratty and half enchanting, and takes off towards the water. She's going to ruin her computer, you think with the part of your brain that isn't occupied with the movement of her breasts as she runs (which isn't much), but then you remember that she's got all these future-gadgets filling her home and, honestly, how much of a stretch is a waterproof laptop?

She plows into the sea at a full sprint and throws up a big splash of water that obscures your view for a moment. When the spray clears you see her cutting through the water with a strong sidestroke. Her long hair billows out behind her, blacker than the deepest reaches of space. 

"You guys wanna see something cool?" Jade is treading water easily, even with one hand holding on to the computer. Suddenly, she dunks it under the surface and propels herself down. 

Color. There's color everywhere. Under the waves there's a reef filled with strange fish that dart in and out of the coral. A school of striped yellow fish scatters as Jade swims through them on her downward journey. She moves with such grace and precision that you wonder that you ever let the words "Jade" and "a little dorky" ever pass within twenty miles of each other in the confines of your mind.

Just as you're really starting to worry about Jade's blood oxygen content, she rounds a particularly big chunk of coral and excitedly points to something offscreen. She swivels the computer around and an object looms large on the screen, though it takes you a second to figure out what you are actually looking at.

It's a frog.

Or rather, a frog statue, half buried in the sand and covered in wispy sea plants and barnacles. It looks absolutely ancient, and quite beautiful. It's also pretty big, much bigger than Jade as she kicks closer and runs her fingers along the wide, stone mouth. Your eyes follow her fingers across the screen. Then you guess she finally starts missing good ol' air because she uses the statue as a springboard and kicks off towards the sunlight. She surfaces like she's the Little Mermaid and you roll your eyes and shift in your chair in arousal at the same time.

 **foamfriend:** where the fuck does this girl live? narnia?

"Pretty fantastic, huh? Sometimes I'll come out here and just drift for a while." She leans back in the water and floats on her back with her eyes closed. Her breasts and a bit of her belly break the surface and you find yourself wishing so, _so_ hard that you could be next to her; doesn't even matter that you can't swim. 

She positions the laptop on her stomach. "Hope you have good birthday, DDD. Everyone else, I hope you liked the free show. I think I'm going to just chill out for a bit." She laughs like there's some secret joke she's sharing with herself. Water laps over her brown throat as she smiles and you just stare. Then she taps a few keys and a song begins to play.

The sound goes straight to your gut and it feels like you've just been punched. You know this music. You and Jade mixed it together; you had stayed up and sent sound files of basslines and beats and insane flute solos to each other all night. When it was finally done, you had named it for some stupid joke from Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff and she had laughed an ocean's length away and you had smiled. What are you even doing right now? Wake up, you incredible asshole! You are spying on your friend right now! You are spying on your friend _while sporting the hardest erection of your life, they make Law and Order:SVUs about shit like this!_

You come back to yourself. Try to get a grip on your goat. With what you hope is a slightly cooler head you watch Jade on your computer screen as she paddles back to shore. She's humming a bit to the song and it's making that _feeling_ well back up in your chest, so you make a decision. Tomorrow you are going to come one hundred percent fucking clean.

 **guest82:** It's my birthday too!!!!!!

\--------

**== > Be Jade.**

You've gotten an email from your financial lawyer, and things are looking up! The truth is becoming obvious, slowly but surely. Soon you will be cleared of all suspicion of wrongdoing -- well, it will actually be your Grandpa's good name that will be cleared of suspicion since you have pretended to be him in nearly all of your outside correspondence for years.

The imminent unfreezing of your bank accounts is very welcome news; one of the massive water pumps beneath your house is on the fritz and you doubt you could afford the very specialized spare parts right now, even with your camgirl income. This island just wasn't meant to be run on anything less than a millionaire's fortune in the long term.

Hey look, Dave has logged in to Pesterchum! And... now he's logged off. And now he's back again? What, can't make up his mind? Finally, whatever vacillation is going on at his end comes to a stop, and you hear a little _ding_ that alerts you to his message.

TG: yo jade  
TG: i need to tell you something  
TG: and its not that cats dont dance is a heartwarming movie  
GG: one of these times you will admit it :)  
TG: yes one day you will have me on my knees begging to confess  
TG: but i got something else to confess to you today

An inexplicable flush warms the back of your neck as you wait for him to continue. What could he possibly have to confess to you?

TG: i found your website  
TG: your uh  
TG: pornsite  
TG: and maybe i didnt close the window right away

Oh.

So he knows. Your belly squirms with embarrassment, and maybe something else, at the thought of him watching you. You find that you want to ask him the stupidest things: did he think you looked silly? Dumb? ...sexy?

Is he ashamed of you?

TG: jade  
TG: you didnt have to do this  
GG: ?  
TG: i got a little money  
TG: i couldve given you some  
TG: and i dont mean tucked in your g-string  
TG: john and rose would have helped too  
GG: dave  
TG: or maybe you couldve come to stay with me  
TG: got a perfectly good futon and a fridge full of perfectly good food  
TG: okay mostly edible food  
TG: but  
TG: i wouldve taken care of you  
GG: ...  
GG: dave  
GG: I DONT NEED TO BE TAKEN CARE OF!!!!!  
GG: i needed money and i got it  
GG: everything turned out fine!!  
TG: did it though?  
TG: i mean youre showing your tits to horny old men on the internet  
TG: thats not what i do when things are going absolutely swell

Your cheeks are getting hot and your mind begins to clutter up with an avalanche of awful thoughts.

This is exactly what you were afraid of.

He doesn't think you can do it. He's never thought that you could handle anything. He thinks you're weak and now he thinks you're dirty.

You're eyes start to tear up and you swipe at them angrily. Fuck! You hate it when you cry and now you're even more pissed off and frustrated than you were before. You're aware that some of the things flying around inside your head at the moment are probably knee-jerk overreactions, but you are in no state to seperate the true from the false at the moment. You need to abscond from this conversation right now.

TG: you can tell me when youre in trouble  
TG: you can talk to me about anything  
GG: no i cant! you think i need help when i dont! you think i need to be protected when i dont!  
TG: thats not what i-  
GG: aaaaaaaaarrrhhhh!!! i cant even talk to you right now!!  
GG: X0  
TG: wait

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 20:27 --  
\-- gardenGnostic [GG] blocked turntechGodhead [TG] at 20:27 --

 

You are angry. And sad, and dissapointed, and frustrated, and a whole mix of emotions that you have no inclination to scrutinize right now. You eye the pillow on your bed; it looks pretty ripe for the screaming.

You indulge.

**== > Be Dave**

You stare blankly at the screen. She fucking blocked you! You can't believe it. This is the angriest that Jade's ever been at you. The angriest you've ever seen her at anyone. The thought feels like a lead brick and you try to forget it, but it keeps weighing down all your thoughts and reminding you how bad you fucked up. Triple X hardcore fucked up.

You reread your last thirty-car pileup of a pesterlog. Where did it go wrong? You read it again and again. Then you take a break to mope over some two-day old Chinese food before returning to read it again. You have an _extremely_ guarded chat with Rose, filled with hypotheticals, fake names, slightly fudged events, and "a friend of mine". After an extended conversation that could not have gotten more embarrassing, you go back and read it again.

After the umpteenth time, you think you're starting to get where the anger is coming from. You wince at your own words on the screen. Ugh, there you go, white knight Dave coming in to save Pretty Woman Jade from her slutty decisions. Now she'll be so grateful that she has to love you forever! Wheeeee, go dogg go!

Fuck, you really, _really_ didn't mean it that way.

You spend the rest of the night lying around on the floor of your room and staring at the ceiling while Centerfold plays in the background on an endless loop. You know you're a shithead when a one-hit-wonder eighties pop band is more understanding than you. Thank god Bro isn't home; you know he's mixed up in Jade's situation somehow and you're still not really sure how you feel about that. All you know is that the thought of admitting this mess to Bro is absolutely nauseating.

You're still awake when the sky begins to glow a brilliant, smoggy red and a rambunctious crow starts to get noisy and godawful on your windowsill. You greet the morning by dragging your ass over to your bed and collapsing face-down into your pillow. Thank your sweet baby luck that you don't have any classes tomorrow.

\--------

**== > Be Jade**

You are now Jade and you are discovering that, just like most things in life, the whole Dave disaster looks a bit more manageable after a full night of sleep and a day of releasing your anger in the form of hot lead fired at a row of cans. You decide to take the day off from your camgirl show. You're glad to be without an audience right now. You are by yourself again, alone on your island, the way you have been for years. Today, you welcome it.

You make your way home from the target range along the winding trail that skirts the shore. A stiff sea breeze cools you and flutters through your hair. You relax, and it feels as if the wind is blowing away all of the cobwebs cluttering up your mind.

You're starting to get the feeling that maybe you jumped the gun a bit. The thought has been creeping up on you all day but, until now, you've been resisting it. It's just that, probably without meaning to, Dave managed to find your sore spot and hit it with the force of an intercontinental cruise missile. And it still stings. You worry these thoughts like a bone as you climb the steep path to your door.

You return to a short series of lilac pesterings blinking on your computer screen.

TT: Hello Jade.  
TT: I believe that a mutual friend of ours is quite agitated about about your radio silence.  
TT: Agitated enough to seek out my counsel, at any rate.  
TT: Please don't interpret this as a manipulative plea on his behalf to contact him.  
TT: Perhaps the forced contemplation will even do him good.  
TT: It is merely information to do with as you will.

The timestamp dates the last message to a half an hour ago and tentacleTherapist has since gone idle. From there your gaze turns in the direction of turntechGodhead, the lone inhabitant of your block list.

Okay, its not like you're going to hate him forever or anything, but you are still embarrassed and a little angry. You're not exactly welcoming your next conversation.

But... the longer this stews the weirder this situation gets. Might as well bite the bullet now. You reach over to the holographic display and flick the 'unblock' button. Immediately TG changes from a light grey to an active bright red. Dave's online.

However, you're not going to be the one to message him first-

_Ding!_

Oh. Well, you guess you wouldn't have been able to type fast enough anyways.

**== >Be Dave**

You are so glad to see Jade's chumhandle light up that you fire off a message before you even get your thoughts in order.

TG: hey

Great. You've said 'hey'. With that you are sure that all of your feelings and dreams and, dare you say it?, the inner workings of your very soul are laid bare and Jade will gasp, teary-eyed at the poignancy of your display.

Anyways.

What do you say to her next? 'I'm sorry' seem obvious -- but, what, do you just spit it out? You anxiously await Jade's response to your strong opening salvo. Maybe she will reveal a hint to her current emotional state and you can gauge her level of pissed off.

GG: hi

Alright, you should have expected that. You decide to throw caution to the wind, and simply do what you are best at: run your mouth and cross your fingers. You realize this is exactly what got you in trouble before, but this time you're hoping that an infusion of rare sincerity will help you express what you really want Jade to understand. 

TG: i got something I need to get off my chest  
TG: you ready harley?  
GG: another confession?  
TG: i guess  
GG: that didnt go so well last time :(  
TG: no shit  
TG: but here goes  
TG: jade you are the most self reliant person I've ever known  
TG: it took me months to even believe a person like you even existed back we first started talking  
TG: i was convinced that you were some gawky little preteen in like suburban indiana  
TG: and that you were just doing some fantasy bizzaro roleplaying shit  
TG: like "oh today ill be a jungle princess with a magical dog beast"  
TG: "tomorrow ill be a shimmering werewolf"  
TG: okay you did reveal yourself to be huge furry but that's beside the point  
GG: :\  
TG: anyways it took me a long time to believe that there was someone as energetic and positive and brilliant and independent as you  
TG: and sometimes i still forget  
TG: so i guess what im trying to say is  
TG: jade  
TG: i am so sorry i forgot again  
TG: and im sorry that i spied on you  
TG: and didn't trust you to take care of yourself  
TG: harley i don't give any sort of shit from any animal species if you want to be a camgirl  
TG: i just want my friend back  
TG: ...  
TG: jade?  
GG: wow  
TG: what  
GG: that was a pretty damn good apology!!

It feels like you can breathe again for the first time in a day and a half.

TG: havent you gotten by now that im good at everything  
TG: including groveling  
GG: haha that was definitely the cooooolest groveling ive ever seen!  
GG: but i want you to know  
GG: okay i was mad  
GG: fucking pissed for a while actually!  
GG: but you were always my friend  
GG: always always always  
TG: cool  
GG: yep :D

And just like that everything's back to normal.

Maybe there's more to talk about. Maybe she does need to know about the warmth in your stupid heart that kills whenever you see green text.

But that can wait for now. The unspoken words dont loom large and shadowy, but instead recline sleepily in the sun like the chillest bros there ever were, just waiting for their turn.

You and Jade are solid again, and that's enough for you. You feel extremely content right now. Agreeable. Balanced. Whoa there, you need to cool it with all this peaceable happiness. But you can't, not when gardenGnostic is still filling up your chat window. You can't stop smiling when you know that Jade is too -- right now and five thousand miles away.


End file.
